14 hours. No fridge. Too much food.

This is my true test – I have 14 hours left in my hotel room, 22 hours left in the USA, and the following consumables:

1 pint of Ben & Jerry’s ‘Chubby Hubby’ (soon ½)

1 bag of string cheese (opened, probably 8 sticks left in there)

6 deviled eggs (well, 5, already ate one, it wasn’t really that good)

2 bottles of sweetened green tea

½ a gallon of 2% milk

½ a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

½ a box of Lucky Charms

¾ of a bag of Cheetos Flaming Hot Crunchy Snacks

1 bottle of ginger ale

4 – make that 3 chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches

  Not to forget that I just got back from the Longhorn Steakhouse, where I started out with a chilled shrimp cocktail and a strawberry daiquiri, followed by a 9oz. steak with the house’s own mac & cheese. It was divine!

  So I am in no way, shape or form hungry, but this has got to be done! Why you ask? Because – 12 months, that’s why!

  Well, I might as well do something with my brain while feeding my face.

Post-Niagara I had ended up sleeping in my car down at the Stone House. Mornings at York still smell like slug/snail farts (in actuality it is some distant paper factory which smell makes it down to York in the early moist mornings). When I was little and walking to the bus stop every morning, I thought it were the snails and slugs that came out to drink dew who were causing the reek. I ended up hanging out with my uncle for a few days, grilling and recuperating, and then driving up to my grandma’s house in Sinking Valley (by Altoona, PA) for a quick stop where I revisited my old favorite place down by the creek, where my father and his siblings also used to mess around when they were young. Apparently the small deer still go there for refreshments, judging by all the hoof prints in the soft creek bed.

  After that I went to see a lady about a horse, so to speak, and then headed back towards Annville. I could’ve slept at my grandma’s house, but I was afraid I might creep myself out in that big lonesome house in the woods. And not to forget, I did make a promise to a cute little girl. Saw a lot of Amish and Mennonites on my way back to Annville. There is also the familiar old Mennonite church.

  Before returning to my friend’s home, I encountered my nemesis - afternoon driving: it makes me want to doze off in a dangerous way so I had to stop at another creek and get myself together. I proceeded to stop at Red Lobster for a wonderful dinner. I swear to you, my waiter was an Obama lookalike. And it wasn’t just me – you could hear the old ladies at the next table tittering about how Obama must have decided to get another job where he actually could get something done. Another waiter seemed to be a budding musician, and was singing and joking and making himself very popular while handing out business cards to all interested parties. That also seemed somewhat peculiar to me, for a while I wondered if I was on some new and unknown reality/celebrity/candid camera hybrid show!

So for the last week, I’ve been staying at my semi-step-brother’s house. I visit there mostly to check up on my friend, who happens to be his fiancé. I worry about her, and my semi-step-something-family has an amazing power of negative delusional drama that can stretch halfway around the globe (an ability that yet again proved itself on my Niagara Falls trip). I purposely avoided visiting my semi-step-mother on this trip, mostly because she has nothing to offer me that I want. But anyone who knows me well is probably aware of my sentiments, and there is no need to think more about that, save for the necessary need to let my dear readers know that her children turned out no different, with self-destructive results. And this is why I have to check up on the one person I truly care about. I know how poisoned my mind gets after a few short weeks in proximity to that family – my dear friend lives with that 24/7, and has had the questionable fortune of mixing her own DNA with that of my step-family to procreate. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kids, but the semi-step-family blood most certainly runs through their veins. The kids are yet young, and there is still hope for them. But my dear friend is eroding, slowly being consumed by the Nothing she fills her heart with simply to survive. Every now and then she bites back, but I fear it is simply a symbolic gesture, spasms of a dying limb, going through motions with long-forgotten purpose.

  3 hours have passed. Finished the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, another ice cream sandwich, several string cheeses. Also had another deviled egg and then threw them out – they were no good I tell you!

  To return to my stint in Annville, we actually spent a lot of time in Lebanon, where my friend’s mother lives. She is a great lady, but the same goes for her as some say of my own mom, “she is a great lady but I wouldn’t want her as my mother”. Fun and considerate to me though! She also has an amazing yard, with little hidden areas, butterflies, a beautiful coy pond and best of all – a pool. A pool came in quite handy since it happened to heat up and we had the hottest day of the year. The heat index was showing a temperature between 110-115 degrees, and I swear to you my car thermometer was showing 103. It was like walking into a wall of heat when you went outside, and within a minute, even your arms would have sweat running down them. Not much to do but seek solace underwater!

  Oh, and then we also found a live catfish on the WalMart parking lot one midnight. Random? I do believe so! So is life!

  It is now 4AM. 3 string cheeses left. Can’t stop farting. Gotta sleep soon. Tomorrow I have to turn in my trusty steed and make my way back home to Kolding, by plane, train and automobile. Be back later!