Not Complaining!

  Nosirreee, not a single negative shall be heard.

  My body is -so- punishing me for the shitty-food marathon I pulled last night. So it is wonderful that I can sit here, in a big comfy lounge chair in the airport, where a nice little Indian girl will bring me anything I want! Sticking with orange juice and fresh fruit cocktails served in martini glasses. There is even a cheese plate that I am keeping away from, for the sole purpose of not drowning in my own stomach acid! Would love to try it though, but like I found out last night, I can only shove so much food down that hatch.
I started out my day by waking up after 5 hours of sleep at a hotel so close to the airport that the planes threatened to land in the parking lot, but I woke up feeling that I was ready to take on the world (amazing, considering the previous nights masochistic eating binge). So I got one last Arby's meal and took my car back to its parking lot at Dollar Car Rentals (while I was detatching my turtle sidekick and unknotting the chain on my voodoo doll co-pilot, I couldnt help but feel sad in an odd way, I was saying my final farewells to my trusty steed - after all, I did put 2200 miles under its wheels in 3 weeks, and it has been nothing but good to me!).
  Afterwards I went to the airport and sat for a couple hours, the check-in wasnt even open yet. Eventually I passed through the Fun House of Authoritarian Horrors - I was still trembling 10 minutes after I had exited the unholy gates of the TSA underworld. It is truly horrifying. A large hall of humanity, dozens of paths marked off by those ribbon-posts, and no signs whatsoever beyond those telling you what items arent allowed in you luggage. It is one of my worst nightmares. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people from all over the world, and all are as dazed as cattle being herded into butcher chutes. Amongst the cattle, there are cowboys with wicked cattle prods, in this case TSA agents, all of them either shouting at you or giving you a death stare. You have no idea when or where you are going, nor do you have any idea when or where the next TSA agent will leap out of the sea of humanity, shrieking at you that you are doing something wrong, with a tone implying that you are nothing but a stupid beast of burden requiring their heavyhanded guidance.At least give me a sign before you start yelling at me! I could really live without that, and while it is a brief experience, maybe only 15 minutes, but it leaves a mark. Trembling hands for the longest time, or until I toss back a drink or two.

  Anywho I am -really- enjoying this luxury trip home so far, havent even gotten on the plane yet, but seriously, you can take a shower at the bathroom facilities in this luxury lounge, the internet is free, the food is good, and the carpet is divine to dig your bare toes into! The only way this could be better than home is by having something nice and smokable after my dinner! This is wonderful, I am loving it, but also looking forward to get back and see my cat, my friends and family. And my own bed.
  Though I really could use some of those pillows back from the Legacy Hotel - they were like little angels cradling my head!
All for now, will be boarding soon, so I guess my next report will be from the Saga Class Lounge in Keflavik unless I am overwhelmed by luxury and end up getting lazy!